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Kitchen Wisdom Desk Signs...

Note: Depending on the fonts installed on your computer, and the way your computer browser is set up, these desk signs may not display properly. Be assured that the actual cards in the clear plastic holder will look great in your kitchen! You'll have a unique batch of conversation starters that will relax (and open up) guests to your home.

 

 DESPITE THE CHAOS, PANIC,
   AND DISORDER...

The cook is almost ready to serve!


 

SO THIS ISN'T HOME
   SWEET HOME...

Adjust!


 

THIS KITCHEN IS CLEANED
    EVERY OTHER DAY...

Today is the other day!

 


 

KITCHEN CLOSED UNTIL
   FURTHER NOTICE...

The cook couldn't take it anymore!


 

THIS KITCHEN WAS CLEAN LAST WEEK...

Sorry you missed it!

 


 

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN CREATIVE
   IN THE KITCHEN...

You can't expect me to be neat too!


 

RING BELL FOR MAID SERVICE...

If no answer, do it yourself!


 

 A WAIST IS A TERRIBLE THING TO MIND!

 


 

  "ALL MARRIAGES ARE HAPPY...

It's the living together afterward
that causes the trouble!"

                                            ...Farmer's Almanac


 

DULL WOMEN HAVE IMMACULATE HOMES!

 


 

PLEASE HELP KEEP THIS
  KITCHEN CLEAN...

Eat out often!


 

COUNTLESS NUMBERS OF PEOPLE
  HAVE EATEN IN THIS KITCHEN...

And most have gone on to lead normal lives!


 

 MY IDEA OF A HAPPY MEAL...

Is a meal I don't have to cook!


 

MY KITCHEN MAY SEEM
   TO BE CLUTTERED...

But my mind is empty!


 

 SO, I'M A LOUSY COOK...

Our cat still has three lives left!


 

 5.00 FINE FOR WHINING...

About any food served in this kitchen!


 

 IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT...

Then I'm easy, fast, and cheap!


 

IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY
  STANDARDS OF COOKING...

Lower your standards!!


 

 MY NEXT HOUSE...

Will be equipped with vending machines!


 

  WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS...

Glance at the recipe!


 

GOOD COOKING JUDGMENT
  COMES FROM EXPERIENCE...

Experience comes from bad judgment!


 

 NOTICE TO ALL WHO ENTER
  THIS KITCHEN...

The cook must be obeyed!


 

 I WOULD COOK DINNER...

But I can't find the can opener!


 

 IF IT STILL TALKS LIKE A DUCK...

And looks and walks like a duck, it probably
needs a little more time in the oven!


 

 DON'T BOTHER THE COOK...

She's living happily ever after!


 

 THINGS COULD BE WORSE...

Martha Stewart could be your mother-in-law!


 

SURVIVAL IN THIS KITCHEN
  IS QUITE POSSIBLE...

And it helps if you're nice to the cook!


 

THE FLOORS ARE CLEAN,
  THE PLACE IS NEAT...

If I were you, I'd wipe my feet!


 

 YOU MAY TOUCH THE DUST...

But do not write in it!


 

A MESSY KITCHEN IS OFTEN
  A HAPPY KITCHEN...

This kitchen is always delirious!


 

A TIDY, CLEAN, WELL-
  ORGANIZED KITCHEN...

Is the sign of a misspent life!


 

THE COOK WHO CAN SMILE
  WHEN THINGS GO WRONG...

Probably has just thought
of someone to blame it all on!


 

BLESSED ARE THE COOKS WHO
  CAN LAUGH AT THEMSELVES...

For they shall never cease to be amused!


 

I CAME, I SAW, I LOOKED
  IN THE REFRIGERATOR...

Then I decided to order take out!


 

SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO TALENT
  FOR COUNTING CALORIES...

And they have the figures to prove it!


 

I'M QUITE A WHIZ AT
  MODERN COOKING...

I just push a few buttons and, presto, in to time there's a guy on the front porch with a pizza!


 

IF YOU ARE SMOKING
  IN THIS KITCHEN...

You'd better be on fire!


 

PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW
  EVERYTHING ABOUT COOKING...

Are very annoying to those of us who do!


 

"THE TROUBLE WITH EATING
  ITALIAN FOOD...

Is that five or six days later you're hungry again!"

                                            ...George Miller



COOKING COMPLAINT FORM

 

(Please print)

Keep in mind, computer-generated images don't come close to matching the quality and impact of these 3.5" x 2" Desk Signs sitting in a business-card sized holder in your kitchen.

Paperbacks For Educators
426 West Front St.
Washington, Missouri 63090
Voice/Text: 314-960-3015

paperbacks@usmo.com

 

 

 

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