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Mother-in-law complicates birthday planning with demand

DEAR ABBY: My husband's 50th birthday (we're both men) is approaching, and I wanted to have a surprise party for him. His family, my family and the two of us all live in different states on the East Coast. I thought a compromise would be to have the party in New Jersey (halfway) on a Saturday. I even offered to rent an Airbnb for the weekend, understanding that traveling might be too much for some folks.

Even after all these efforts, my mother-in-law responded that she feels having two separate parties (one in her state and one local to us) is a better solution. I am beyond mad that his family is unwilling to make any sacrifice to see him happy. His family has never once come to visit us. (We have made multiple trips there.)



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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